Grief, Faith, and Hope- The Story Behind Hope After Hardship

Some seasons of life transform everythin. All in a short amount of time, I experienced pregnancy loss, the arrival and departure of our foster children, and cancer while pregnant again. Through these different trials, I discovered that grief accompanies every significant loss, not just death, and that faith and hardship are deeply intertwined.

Here’s the story of the two years that changed my life:

Grief in Pregnancy Loss

In January 2019, my husband and I welcomed three foster boys into our home, after months of training and preparations. They were all brothers and we were pregnant with our first, also a little boy. We made plans for how it could all work when the baby came and prepared the boys for his arrival.

Unexpectedly, during my second trimester, I went into pre-term labor and our baby did not survive. Grief consumed me in a way I had never experienced before. How was I supposed to continue on without my child? I truly did not know.

For the first time, I struggled feeling God near and I didn’t want to go to church. I truly believe our foster boys kept us going during this time and I am grateful to them for that.

I learned about how faith is intertwined with grief and how the experience of grieving can bring a person closer to Jesus because Christ himself experienced grief.

Grief in Loss of Health

Our foster boys reunified with family in September of that year and we thought we would take some time as a couple to grieve together. That time ended up being more tumultuous than we could have anticipated.

In October, I went to the doctor with a lump in my underarm. I was assured that I was young and healthy and it would go away on its own. It didn’t go away, it actually grew. The next month I returned to the doctor with a larger lump and a recently positive pregnancy test. Instead of reassurance, she agreed we should look into this further.

The process was painfully slow, but I was finally diagnosed with cancer while pregnant. After such a long diagnosis process, I was relieved to have answers and to be able to start a treatment plan. I was guided to an incredible oncologist who was diligent in finding the best treatments that would be safe for my baby and aggressive for the cancer. I received a chemo port, had an ommaya reservoir placed, and went through six rounds of chemotherapy while pregnant.

If you are facing a cancer diagnosis while pregnant, I highly recommend looking into Hope for Two. They’re a pregnant with cancer network and have incredible resources.

Finding Hope After Hardship

After giving birth to a healthy baby girl, I continued chemotherapy (during a global pandemic, but I won’t even go there right now). Towards the end of the year, I received the incredible blessing of learning I was in remission from cancer. This may have looked like the end, but I was just beginning to understand how much these experiences had really changed me.

These two years transformed everything about how I view hardship, loss, and grief. I learned that:

• Grief isn’t reserved only for death—it accompanies every significant loss
• Faith doesn’t prevent hardship, but can be an anchor through it
• Healing doesn’t mean forgetting, but finding purpose in and honoring the pain
• Hope is powerful and miracles are all around us

It’s never easy to go through hardship, but I’m learning that following Jesus and growing closer to Him can’t be easy, because He also experienced hardship.

Why I created Hope After Hardship

This blog was born out of my own grief. When my baby died, writing became my lifeline. My grief demanded that I share, and so I did. Writing during my pregnancy with cancer connected me to others in the same situation that I never could have met otherwise. We truly never are alone.

Your experiences may not look like mine, but I know you’ve faced your own grief and hardship.

Through Hope After Hardship, I want to offer you what I needed during my darkest days: practical support rooted in faith, and the assurance that your grief is valid, your healing is possible, and your hardship can become the very place where you experience God’s presence most profoundly.

Whatever loss has brought you here today, I’m honored to walk alongside you as we find hope after hardship together.

What has your grief taught you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments, or you can email me at hello@hopeafterhardship.com.